New Year’s “Hang Over”

Tonight is New Year’s Eve. I made a plan last week to go out to a little party thing. Today, I tossed and turned about going. The habit of living fearlessly is something we can all pursue. I do, for the most part, try and keep on the fearless mask. However this whole “fearless” act I have going on, well I was not that for a good part of today.

I am one of those people whose personality traits include: introversion and being highly sensitive (otherwise known as HSP).

Obviously, it sounds easier to stay home at this point. Right? I mean, I could have used pouring rain as an excuse. I have loads of excuses, besides the valid one of “people freak me out” (a whole new level of honesty, I know). I really do love people, friends, family, random strangers I connect with, as long as I have room in my human interaction cup.

I literally have nothing to offer anyone if my human interaction cup is full

Excuses Versus . . .

I had a moment of realization tonight. I do things like attend social gatherings, when part of me struggles with it, because I want to honor God with my entire life. If it wasn’t for God, I would not push past the fears or moments of struggling to face the world when my spirit is hung over (detailed explanation below). It’s pretty simple for me. They say you need a “why,” for goals and such.

Here is my why: I don’t want to miss out on opportunities to bless God, because I was too afraid. So, I wrestle between being fearful versus fearless. On one side, I have introversion where human interaction can literally suffocate my spirit. And on another, I have the hindrance of being a highly sensitive person where too much stimulation causes me to run away and never return if given the option.

I want Jesus, my King, to be lifted high in my life. And I know, God can do miraculous things – even when I am scared out of my mind.

… Jesus is why I can step out of my comfort zone and face peopling, even when my spirit screams “I am done for the week. I need silence!”

The Hang Over

With peopling and being overstimulated (noise, lighting, people, reacting more deeply, etc), I face something I call a “hang over”. It is simply from overwhelming my spirit. My spirit becomes intensely weighed down, that it is hard to interact with anyone in a meaningful conversation or watch a favorite show without adding to it. My spirit is just scattered, beyond overwhelmed, and struggling to just get through it. My spirit, in some ways, becomes paralyzed. Everything becomes difficult. That is the best way to describe it to a non-introvert.

… And, the answer is “recharging”. I have to take a “time out,” and allow myself to recover. I have to allow myself the time and space to process and recover from the past few days or weeks of human interaction and a heavy load of stimuli.

Jesus Christ, my Beloved Savior, is the One who walks me through this process of welcoming the new year and process through the past few days or weeks.



Introvert Speaks: The Hang-Over

I am an introvert.

I recently “came out of the closet” (aka I keep writing about it). It’s not that my “introversion” is some brand spankin’ new discovery. It’s just that, writing is my primary way of processing e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. Writing is how I share my experiences, and who knows, maybe it will help another soul who feels like they are drowning. There is a remedy. We need to recharge our spirits. There is hope, and a way out of our introvert’s hang-over.

Friends and the Dreaded Word

You know… It occurred to me when I was writing last night that many don’t know what introversion is. I know there are in my life. I can say the word “introvert” and their exact response is “Whaaa?!?!?” At which point, I respond with “… nevermind, because if I have to explain it…”

Yeah, if I have to explain it. I am not sure that it will be worth the hard work of extra mental processing and emotional energy to relay the information… and then, possibly have more conversational pieces to decipher and process at night than I would care for.

So you see, it isn’t exactly personal.

I am going to take a slight detour from my introversion hang-over concept to explain it to you. Right here. Right now.

Not Weird, Just Wired Differently

According to an article from early 2011, there are about 25% of the generation population that are marked by introversion. But, there are probably much more. Some of us spend our lives wondering “… okay, what’s wrong with me? Why am I different?” Anyway, there is a small percentage. So your friends may not understand why a conversation or party can drain the

Introverts are wired differently than their friends who aren’t as close on the introversion-extroversion scale.

We are wired differently.

It doesn’t mean we are weird or somehow “not measuring up”.

We are simply different from others of different personality types.

Wired Differently

Introversion is just a way of describing our personalities.

Social situation can stress out our spirits, especially if we aren’t taking time afterward for silence (of some sort) and processing. Shear silence (again, of some sort… Introverts “recharge” different ways. I am not sure if lack-of-silence means you won’t “recharge” as fast… I just know recharging is of great importance, or I am a walking-chaotic-disaster-with-absolutely-no-filter).

We (introverts) need to go into hiding for a time. And, we likely have a variety of ways coping with our external stimuli (sounds, conversations, lights, or a number of other things).

The Hang-Over

External stimuli gives me what I will just refer to as “…an introvert’s hang-over.” No, I haven’t been drinking. No, my head isn’t throbbing. But, my spirit is just… done. It is overwhelmed. It is weighed down to such an extent, that I literally cannot think straight.

There is too much going on.

Things I haven’t taken the time to process.

I just haven’t taken care of myself  like I need to.

And, I am a milli-second away from letting my guard down and utterly losing it – all over everyone and everything. I am moments away from a few scenerios:

  1. Screaming unfriendly terms (possibly expletives) at those around me.
  2. Running far far away, to be alone.
  3. Crying my eyes out.
  4. Using my hands and feet to display the drowning of my spirit.

I am sure there are a lot of well-played out examples of what happens during “an introvert’s hang-over”. But a drowning spirit is the best possible explanation that I have to offer you, dear readers.

When You Just Can’t Deal

I simply can’t deal. I am doing all I can to keep my head and heart above water – just until I can reach that pivotal point of “plugging in” introvert style.

Tonight, this means…

  • Quiet praise music (I rely on Jesus Christ to keep me going. After all, He is my Prince of Peace).
  • Slow breathing.
  • Writing out my thoughts (hello, blog readers!).
  • Completely, empty space where I am alone to be with God and my thoughts.

Just quietly sitting by myself. I just can’t be about other things right now. I have had a long day. A loud day.

The Truth

Saying these things (like calling a day longloud, or drainingdoesn’t mean the day didn’t have absolutely wonderful and beautiful aspects to it. It simply means my emotional battery needs to be recharged – if I want to be able to function tomorrow and not risk an emotion system shut-down.

If I want to experience life at its best, tomorrow, I need to take the time to effective care for my own needs tonight.


I have to take the time my spirit needs, without feeling guilty. Being an introvert can mean guilt. You know you need to recharge, or chaos erupts, but how do we do it guilt free? At night? When one should be sleeping vs. writing at midnight.

Reality At Its Finest

Today, I simply could not handle the excessive external stimuli. At one point, it took most of my resolve to merely sit at the kitchen table. alone.

Simply put, I was just done.

I felt overwhelmed.

I needed to plug in, because my emotional center’s battery was down to about 15% remaining. Which as we know. A battery’s percentage isn’t always an accurate indicator of when the device will actually die. Cuts it a bit too close when we are talking about not a technological device. Instead, we are talking about me.

In the middle of relationships.



Serving opportunities.

Worshiping Jesus.

I want to give God my best!

When I am drowning from neglecting to process my emotions and experiences, not exactly at my best. How can I give God, others, or myself my best when…

… emotions are heavy?

… self-control is clawing to hang on?

… I neglect me?

I need to recover from today’s “introvert hang-over”. The things I do in this moment, count greatly for how I can overcome the stuff of tomorrow.

Autumn Goals

We become like those we spend time around. I spend time around Misty’s blog. You can check her out here along with her own Autumn goals. So after reading her goals, I decided I would try to make my own. I wanted to make my own, but also make a list that works for me and where I am in my life. After all, that is what it is about. Finding goals that work for us… Now, I had this amazingly large list of books that I wanted to read over Summer. I didn’t get to a whole lot of them. I wanted to share that, today, as well as just share what I hope to accomplish during the season of Autumn.

1. Join a woman’s Bible study. I signed up for it, book has been ordered, and all I have to do is stay committed and show up. A great opportunity to engage in the Word with fellow women of God!

2. Reach out in my community. Offer to pray for others, dig into the Word faithfully with my community. Not only in church, but in my neighborhood where I live.

3. Minister to my family in my home. I can do this, by staying caught up on housework (as able), continuing to have what I like to call ‘family dinner’- nothing fancy, just food and devotion time with those I love.

4. Rest. I really need to work on getting more sleep. So, I want to work more on getting a better bedtime schedule. Of course lately, that means cutting down on caffeine. It is worth it all in the end.

5. Make sure to “charge up” each day. This should really be the #1 thing. I want to stay more faithful in my quiet time. It may mean my daily reading plan, a different study, or the women’s study, but it is important to be staying ‘charged up’ each day. A significant way this process happens is through writing during my quiet time (being in the Word and prayer). It charges me not only spiritually, but also emotionally. As someone with introverted tendencies, I need to remain consistent in blogging- this is my only place where I write out my thoughts. Important to be more about the things that help me to stay charged up!

6. Take better care of myself. This means, keeping with my food guidelines and working toward growing in how much exercise I can pursue. Just doing what is right for me. Honoring God in it all! <3

7. Book List:

Before I share what I hope to read this season, let’s share what I actually read this Summer (my Summer goals can be found here).

What I did read (at least part way or all the way through):

  1. “Martin Luther King, Jr: A Biography” by Roger Bruns
  2. “Balancing It All” By Candace Cameron Bure
  3. “Spoken For” by Robin Jones Gunn and Alyssa Joy Bethke
  4. “You’ll Get Through This” by Max Lucado
  5. “Introverts in the Church” by Adam S. McHugh
  6. “Quiet” by Susan Cain

These are just the ones from my Summer goals list. I don’t add in the books I read for reviewing. Though those books are often quite wonderful too! :)

This Autumn, I would like to continue working on my Autumn list of books, and finish those above that I didn’t get to finish all the way. In addition to those, I would like to include: “The Best Yes” by Lysa Terkeurst and “A Woman After God’s Own Heart” by Elizabeth George.

Anyone else have any Autumn goals? Keep an eye out, I do want to start back with my weekly goals. I think it would be very helpful, especially as I move toward a path of having motivation to create new habits.