When I Am Not Okay (Part Two)

Hey friends!

I am still here, navigating these interesting waters of depression. I haven’t really been writing much this week (even still). But, I have been trying to read our daily Scriptures. I come to you today – with a different Scripture in mind.

As a deer longs for flowing streams, so I long for you, God. I thirst for God, the living God. When can I come and appear before God? My tears have been my food day and night, while all day long people say to me, “Where is your God?” I remember this as I pour out my heart: how I walked with many, leading the festive procession to the house of God, with joyful and thankful shouts. Why, my soul, are you so dejected?
Why are you in such turmoil? Put your hope in God, for I will still praise him, my Savior and my God (Ps. 42:1-5, CSB).

Observation: The psalmist acknowledged he was severely depressed in verse 6, but he remembered how God met him before. Friends, let’s keep trying to seek the Lord God in the midst of our trials. Let’s remember how He has been faithful to us!

Taking Action: Let’s allow our great Lord to meet us where we are, even though it isn’t anywhere fun! It isn’t about how much effort we put in, but it’s about leading our broken souls to Jesus who is our great Restorer! Let’s just continue to try and draw nearer. The Lord will meet us there, even when we aren’t so sure.

I wanted to share some ideas about how I fight through depression.

Here We Go!

Turn on praise music (this is my favorite playlist right now).

Go for a physical walk with our Lord Jesus. Just walk and talk, friend.

Be willing to do better than me, and journal through your thoughts – fearlessly (and if someone finds your notes, so be it).

Sit in the quiet, and look for God’s presence in the storm (and I hope you notice He is in the storm with you). He can give us His peace, even during hard times. Choose to believe Him for this, friend.

Take hold of our great God’s promises (“He will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5),” for example).

Allow someone else to read the Bible to you. Maybe, have a friend come over and read to you. Perhaps, just allow the Bible app of your choice to read to you.

This might be more obvious for some, but limit your social media time. If you do use it during times of depression, watch where you scroll. Try scrolling through Desiring God or The Gospel Coalition instead.

This is probably my number one thing I do:

Watch some YouTube videos to draw you nearer to the Lord. Or listen to a Christian podcast (Podbean is my “go to” podcast app).

You are not alone, my friend. Let’s continue to make this journey together, as we draw nearer to the Lord – even when trials come our way. Hang in there, and keep looking to our Lord Jesus!

In Him,

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When I Am Not Okay

Do you ever look someone in the eye, say your good, and then realize you aren’t as good as you just said? That was my experience tonight at my small group.

Today was a considerably good day on a physical level. I even made it to Bible study tonight, and so when others asked how I was – the answer immediately came off as “oh, I am doing great today!”

As Bible study progressed, I remembered. I remembered that I have been plagued with depression all week long. I remembered that I have felt alone and found it hard to do simple tasks, because of it. I sat there, listening as they spoke tenderly, and awaited coming home. The Lord’s mighty hand held me together, as I sat there, because I just felt some of the weight that accompanies depression.

My Struggle –

All week long, it has been a struggle to reach for my Bible and journal. I had been doing so well on getting my daily reading of 1 Timothy and have enjoyed it so very much. This week, it was a hard week and so I am behind. I am behind on reading, but in sharing my heart with you all too.

Depression is just something that is hard. For this week, in particular, I have found myself just crying. For roughly two days, I just cried and cried. Which isn’t something you would typically find in my character.

Where Am I Turning?

My hope remains in our Lord Jesus Christ. My morning habits include turning on praise music and attempting to read my Bible. I may not journal, but if I can just read a verse – then I have something to meditate on throughout the day as I am resting or feeling motivated enough to clean.

The cloud of depression has days, where it is paralyzing and nothing gets done. Maybe, not even the simple act of turning on praise music. But even so, the Lord God Almighty is with me in the struggle.

No Shame –

Friends, I hope you are all doing well. But maybe, you are finding yourself in a depression fog too. The only (and best) advice I can give you is – to do whatever is necessary to draw nearer and nearer to our Lord Jesus Christ.

One more note, because I deeply care. If you continue to struggle with depression without relief, consider making an appointment with your family doctor. Depression can be very hard, and we all deserve support. We need to have a support system of others who help us fight it!

Also there are treatments out there, that might be able to help you. There is no shame in depression or seeking help from a medical professional. I have had to do it in the past – myself.

Honestly, there is soo much more to say on the topic of depression and I hope to address more of it in the coming weeks – but for now I want to just encourage you to keep drawing nearer to the Lord. Keep diving into the book of 1 Timothy. We will be starting 2 Timothy soon. Maybe, I will be caught by then.

God bless you, my friends!

Still seeking Him,

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Training Me for Godliness {POTF}

 

But have nothing to do with pointless and silly myths. Rather, train yourself in godliness. For the training of the body has limited benefit, but godliness is beneficial in every way, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come (1 Tim. 4:7-8, CSB).

Tonight, I was blessed with the opportunity of attending the women’s Bible study at my home church. It is always a joyous time to be with the girls: to eat dinner, to fellowship, to learn, and to discuss. Only tonight, was a different kind of night for me. While I typically always eat dinner with the girls, tonight I just had to “run away” and eat quietly in one of the classrooms. I just couldn’t see myself eating with the girls in a way that would truly honor the Lord.

How could I say such a thing? I have some profoundly interesting food restrictions, and they were having pizza as one of their meal options. I just didn’t feel strong enough. So, I hid away – where I forced myself to eat my allergen free (and plant based) food.


I want. . . I need to be trained in godliness like Scripture says.

Godliness needs to be a part of every area of my life. Even in eating when it’s hard and I would rather have that slice of pizza – that just might leave me devastatingly weak and in POTS agony for days.

My dear friend, what is the Lord speaking tenderly to your heart about?


While in food isolation, I just soaked up Ecc. 5:1-2. Which was exactly what I needed – and the Holy Spirit knew it was what I needed. The Scripture talks about quietly coming to the Lord’s house, but there’s more to it.

Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God (vv. 2a, NIV).”

My problem at Bible study wasn’t so much my words, rather the temptation to hastily put dishonoring things into my mouth (because of the Lord’s direction). My heart likes to hastily act upon things, and I need to be careful. I don’t want to hastily make decisions – neglecting my godliness training.

Oh friend, how we need to fight for our relationship with Jesus! I don’t know what you are facing, but if we don’t fight for this relationship – other stuff will easily get in the way. My desire for allergen food can easily overshadow my desire for more of our Lord Jesus.

Friend, we need our Lord Jesus. We need Him to help us. We need to remember our need to train for godliness. One of my favorite Psalms uses this description: “He trains my hands for war, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze (Ps. 18:34, ESV).”

God is faithful and will help us, as we continue to draw nearer to Him through our relationship with His Son Jesus Christ. I invite you to join me and keep drawing near. As you draw near through Bible study and prayer, the Lord will fill you with His Holy Spirit and show you what to do!

In Him,

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Love Based Law – Part 1 {POTF}

Hello friends –

I invite you to join me in a two part blog post, where we will be looking at 1 Timothy 1:8-11 –

But we know that the law is good, provided one uses it legitimately. We know that the law is not meant for a righteous person, but for the lawless and rebellious, for the ungodly and sinful, for the unholy and irreverent, for those who kill their fathers and mothers, for murderers, 10 for the sexually immoral and homosexuals, for slave traders,liars,perjurers, and for whatever else is contrary to the sound teaching 11 that conforms to the gospel concerning the glory of the blessed God, which was entrusted to me (1 Timothy 1:8-11, CSB).

We know the law is good if we use it properly.

The law is holy. . . just, and good. . . [If we] use it for the purpose for which God has given it [then it becomes] a schoolmaster to lead us unto Christ, and Christ is the end of that law for justification to every one that believes (Clarke Commentary).

The Truth About God’s Law

This sacred law of God teaches us about our broken relationship with God. As hard as it is to talk about, this is the truth. This is why the law of God has been given to us.

Admittedly we may think the law of our great God is something horrible, but honestly it isn’t. God has given us His law – His rules to meet and teach us. God teaches us we are sinners. We are not holy, righteous, or close to perfection, but our great God definitely is and has chosen us to be His own people!

Came For the Broken

Just as the law is given to sinners, I am reminded this is why our Lord Jesus came. He came for us, to redeem us!

I am reminded by the Holy Spirit of what it says in the book of Luke.

I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance (5:32).
For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save the lost (19:10).

Our blessed Savior has come for you and me personally. He didn’t come to call the righteous, but He did call the broken, the lost, people like us who just don’t “have it all together”.

With God’s grace, we don’t have to be perfect people. We just really need our Lord Jesus and to keep drawing near – so we aren’t going through life alone.

Instead of shrinking back, God has wholeheartedly continued pursuing and loving us – and is inviting us to become His own people.

God’s Love

In John 3:16-17, we see the absolute depth of our Creator’s amazing love for us. God wants to be heavily involved in our lives. He loves us and longs to be with us!

16 For God loved the world in this way: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

Friends, our great God’s love for us goes above and beyond anything we could ever imagine! While the law shows we have sinned against God, every one of us, our story doesn’t have to stop there.

Our great God sent His Son Jesus Christ to be the Savior of the world! He went on a rescue mission – for you! Will you choose to accept what Jesus has done on your behalf through His suffering, death, and resurrection?

I invite you to join me tomorrow, as we talk specifically about God’s love and role as our Eternal Father.

In Him,

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Setting the Right Goal {POTF}

I recently rearranged my bedroom, which has me really excited! Whenever I get a new “space” to sit and be with Jesus, it always has this effect on me.  It’s a new place to just sit with my Lord Jesus, and draw near to Him. It’s a happy moment. A new gift to unopen in these quiet moments of seeking Him.

Use Your Personality to Draw Near

“You have searched me, Lordand you know me. . . For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well (Ps. 139:1, 13-14, NIV).”

“Your hands made me and formed me; give me understanding to learn your commands (Psalm 119:73).”

God has personally made us. He has made our personalities. He has wired us with certain interests. This is why some people find joy (even heartfelt worship!) in taking a physical walk with the Lord, while others find worship in silently writing.

With My Being. . .

I fall into the latter group. When I find myself overwhelmed, my sacred time of quietly writing is never more appreciated! I am recharged by silence. To simply sit with our Lord Jesus is exactly what I need. . . and the perfect way to draw near to Jesus. The Lord is picking up my burdens here, as I sit and enjoy quietness. He is calming my heart. This shows how much I need this. We need to set goals that allow us to experience more of the Lord!

Friend, what is your one goal to help you draw nearer to the Lord during our study?

We are uniquely made. Even all the quirks we hate (like my need for more quiet), God might just have put there for a reason. Knowing more about our personalities helps us to understand how to worship Him in a more enjoyable way, but it boils down to this question.

What is one goal that will help us draw nearer to our Risen Lord Jesus?

There are various goals we could set. Let’s think up of some, shall we? {Be sure to comment below and share your goal for our eight week study}

Read and meditate on the given Scripture first thing in the morning.
Spend time in the Word before bed.
Take a prayer walk {short or long, it’s up to you}.
Spend time quietly before the Lord to just think and talk with Him in prayer.
Memorize one Scripture {or perhaps work to tackle all eight of them!}.
Write out each week’s memory verse.

Just remember: Make the goal realistic. It needs to fit you and where God has placed you right now. My goals will differ from others, because I am different from others. . . but, it’s not about comparison. Just drawing near to the Lord and this will give Him good pleasure.

An eight week journal is only $6.25, if you want to grab one. And, the blog party continues on Facebook. There’s even a women’s small group! WAHOO!!! Just wait and see what the Holy Spirit will do, my friends.

In Him,

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