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Expectations of Others in Trials

Trials on a Tuesday is a weekly series that focuses on a topic relating to trials, and how we can glorify God in the midst of hard times.
Trials on a Tuesday is a weekly series that focuses on a topic relating to trials, and how we can glorify God in the midst of hard times.

In the Bible, we learn a lot about carrying burdens. We learn to let others help us carry our burdens, if/when they can. We even learn that our great Creator loves us deeply, and wants to give us strength and help us carry our burdens.

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What has Scripture taught you about carrying burdens?

How has it affected the way you carry your burdens of trials?

Summer of Relaxing Expectations

I wanted to take time today, to share a little bit about my story. This summer, I faced many unwell-health-days. Summer is the time of being acutely aware that it is me and Jesus in this trial, for the long haul! During my summer, I spent the bulk of the time in a bed. My bed. So my version of socialization was facebook, for the most part… or my blog, although it is mostly one-side of me “talking at” the world, versus talking to inhabitants of planet earth.

This time of trial has taught me the true value of knowing God is on my side. Not only is He on my side, He is intensely compassionate toward me and the “stuff” I face. He teaches me the truth about my trials, and that He wants to help me carry my burden.

While I am to allow others into my world of trials and invite them to help me to carry my burdens, there is something I cannot do… Something that I will refuse to do, if I can help it. And, this is to live with an expectation that others should be more “there” than they already are.

This is unreasonable on so many levels.

It hurts me.

It hurts them.

It can damage relationships.

But, why?

I can’t expect anyone to carry or care about my struggle the same way I do. Others are not as “invested” as I am. Whether it is a broken bed or ridiculously low blood pressure. I can’t expect others to remember or care about my struggles like I do. This is where grace steps in… We need to “consider others better than ourselves”. That is, to offer grace and have the attitude of Christ.

It’s unreasonable to somehow expect others to fill a void in our lives that only Christ Himself can fill. Only Christ knows what we face, on a deeply personal level.

Bottom line…

We ought to care for others, as they bear heavy burdens, and invite others into our trials. But, our friends cannot solely carry our burdens or be as invested in our trials as we are. While they can be a source of help and comfort, we need to remember one thing. Christ is to be our burden-bearer. Just as I can’t completely be there for others, they can’t do that for me.

Trials require me, personally, to learn to love others the way I need to be loved… Meaning, a great deal of grace.

Reflection Time

In your time of trial, how have you noticed others can’t fully know or carry your burden? How has your expectations of others changed, as you endure moments of difficulty?

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