Far too often, we let our emotions stop us from things. As an introvert, I have developed this “protective layer”. A lot of times when I speak, the words don’t come out right. They fumble out. I wonder if I was understood. In times of anxiety, many words begin popping out as I try to explain more and more…and it’s things that don’t need any additional explanations. It is just learning to accept and take social interaction as it comes. From my own experience, that “protective layer” of fear has stayed for far too long. Fear of rejection. Fear of miscommunication. Fear of being misunderstood. Those fears are big enough all on their own.
For five days, I spent my days at a friend’s house on a ‘staycation’. I spent my time spending time with my Creator, sorting through my thoughts, processing my identity, and the frustrations of my identity- the very thing that is part of how God created me. I am wired differently. God made me who I am with a great purpose in mind. I am coming more to a place of trading the lies and guilt of who I am not, for the truth of who I am.
I am an introvert. Others may have their own opinion about me. I am someone who faces chronic illness. Others may have their own opinion about me. But, their opinion is not that of God. God loves me. I am accepted in His eyes. I am chosen by God. God has redeemed me, through the blood and resurrection of His son Jesus Christ!
Fisher of Men
“Jesus called out to them, “Come, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people!”
Now as a Christian, I want to see others come to know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. I want them to experience the eternal joy and peace that only He can give them. I want them to know how He can satisfy their aching, longing hearts. I genuinely want this. I want to learn to love my neighbors and be a witness- to how God’s love and compassion for me can change everything when I came to Him.
Part of the transformation process:
I am learning to overcome anxiety.
It’s ridiculously easy to let anxiety or fear play the center part.
And, I hate conflict.
We live in a fallen world.
I believe I want to guard myself from that however possible.
But, I do not need to fear conflict or anything else.
My own questions
Is the anxiety, fear, and other things greater than my desire to see others come to know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, and see His freedom and abundant life in their own lives? I don’t believe so. I know the passion I have to see others come to know Christ and all He has to offer is greater!
How can I, an introvert, love others, bless others, minister to others, and share the Gospel in everyday life with others? What gifts can I be utilizing that I am keeping to myself?
How can I pursue deep fellowship and community? How could I be more about looking for opportunities to disciple others- teaching others God’s truth? How could I be more about pursuing God’s Kingdom?
All of this is something to pray on, because I know God has already equipped me for this. He has made my personality and all my traits as it is for a reason, for His purposes, to bring glory to Himself! He will use me to help others know more about Him, as long as I remain willing.